Do not try to suppress sex. With your inner wisdom, inner experience and Inner Light, sex can be transcended, and it has to be. But by fighting, struggling and suppressing it, sex cannot be ‘conquered’. The easiest way to transcend something is to pay no attention to it, to feel that it is unnecessary. If you think that it is necessary, than it comes to tempt you, and you will feel that you are caught.
If you want to overcome your desires, there is only one thing to do. You have to pay more attention to the light, in a positive way, not by hook or by crook! If you try to subdue your vital urges in any kind of repressive way, then you will never be able to overcome this physical need. You have to open yourself toward the light and reach or feel the light within you. By thinking constantly of your vital desires, sex life, you will never be able to overcome them. It is impossible. Even if you want to think of them with a view to overcoming them, you are making a mistake. But think of other things, like light and joy, which you need and actually want. Through concentration and meditation, you can have inner joy and inner light. You will try to bring them into your gross physical being, and your physical being will also feel divine joy and divine light. At that time, the life of destructive pleasure will leave you and the life of fulfilling joy will embrace you.
To attain the highest Truth, the seeker needs total purification and transformation of his lower vital. If one wants to have real joy, everlasting joy, then he has to transcend the need of sex. If the seeker wants to be inundated with boundless peace, light and bliss, then he has to eventually transcend this physical need. Otherwise, transcendental peace, light and bliss will remain a far cry for him.
But you cannot realize God overnight. It is impossible! You do not get your Master’s degree in a day, or even in a year. It may require several years of study to achieve. And God-realization is a far more difficult subject. It requires many incarnations of aspiration and spiritual discipline for anyone to realize God. In each lifetime, the possibility of your God realization depends on both your present aspiration and your previous spiritual life. If you tell a beginner that he will have to give up his lower vital life, his sex life, all at once, he will say, ‘Impossible. How can I do that?’ If he has to do it all at once, he will never enter into spiritual life. But slowly and steadily, he can make headway towards his goal. If he tries to run too fast and does not have the capacity, he will simply drop in the field. He will lose what limited aspiration he has.
In our ordinary human life, we have many weaknesses. If we try to overcome them all at once, the body will resist and break down. The body will revolt, and we shall be torn to pieces. We have to have a real inner will, the soul’s will, to overcome our desires slowly and steadily. Gradually, we have to diminish our need for sex on the strength of our aspiration.
–Sri Chinmoy
