When someone speaks unpleasant words, why is it that I dislike it so much? Why does it hurt me deeply and how can I bear it?
One of the Buddha’s beautiful teachings is ‘ta-thatha’, which means total acceptance. The power of acceptance dissolves our hurt. We resist something and this resistance creates a conflict with what is.
When someone speaks unpleasant words, don’t create a conflict in your mind. Accept that it is others’ perception and others’ perceptions need not be true. Learn to be at peace with what is and that is possible if you totally accept the other.
Acceptance is not endorsing his point of view but being at peace with others’ point of view. If you accept his unpleasant words without condemning him, then an inner understanding opens with deep awareness.
If you condemn him, then your memories of unpleasantness add themselves to the present unpleasantness and your pain increases. The dissatisfactions of the past will create distaste towards the present, leading to distrust of the future.
You dislike someone’s unpleasant words because you have a map of how others should behave and are addicted to that expectation. If others’ behaviour does not fit into your expectations, you start disliking it.
Let us learn to practice acceptance at all levels. Let us accept our body as it is. Out of acceptance, improve the quality of the body. Accept the surrounding world as it is and out of that, learn to improve it.
Learn not to fight with life, but flow with life. The moment you flow with life, an inner lightness will envelop you, a new quality of aliveness will fill you, a new joy will bless you, and a different quality of cheerfulness will pervade you.
Such a person cannot be hurt, cannot be disturbed. His perception of others will not be distorted. His factual perception is not influenced by his dogma and expectation.
Look at others who are hurt, discontentment fills their life. Their eyes are filled with expectations and hence they carry hurt inside their heart.
Acceptance is the key to transform your life. When you accept, you experience the ‘such-ness’ of what is and not the fantasy of ‘what should be’.
Don’t be a victim of your logic; let the power of love teach you the art of operating from the heart and the heart knows how to accept. When there is love, there is acceptance. You will never know the poetry of life, the glory of life, the grandeur of life if you have not learnt the art of acceptance.
Swami Sukhabodhananda
