As we prepare to say goodbye to the year 2022, it may be instructive to take a peek at the many ways by which different cultures face the death of a loved one or thing. In western tradition, when a person dies, a ‘wake’ is held to watch over and to stand vigil over the lifeless body before it is taken away for burial or cremation. This is different from ‘church wakes,’ which were all-night service of prayer and meditation in the church, referred to as vigiliae, when each parish kept the morrow of its vigil as a holiday. The ‘Encyclopaedia Britannica’ says the wake tradition in churches existed from the earliest days of Anglo-Saxon Christianity, and these wakes soon became fairs when people from neighbouring parishes came over to join in the merrymaking, and what were holy get-together events degenerated into drunken revelry and scandal.
The custom of ‘holding a wake’ over a corpse, may have started as a Celtic tradition, pre-dating Christianity. Initially, the body was watched over in case it was snatched away by evil spirits but later, the wake became a time for group prayer and meditation, and those who participated in the wake were given food and liquor. Later, wakes were moved from residences to funeral homes where family and friends came to view the body and share their memories, as tribute to the deceased. As a social gathering, a wake helps ease the pain of loss and encourages sharing of happy memories, and family members review and discuss the way forward.
We could hold a wake for the year 2022. Some may see this year as an extension of recent years that traumatised us with the Covid-19 pandemic, when considerable numbers of lives and livelihoods were lost. Others faced long-term disabilities. Hence, holding a wake for the year gone past would inspire us to review and reflect on all that has happened and we may discover that while some bad stuff happened, some good things happened, too.
A social ‘wake’ watching over the ‘corpse’ of the year gone by, could be a novel way of paying tribute to the strengths we gained from whatever tragedies befell us, the friendships that endured and the support we received despite being ill or having failed professionally or in relationships; we could celebrate the familial bonds and friendlier workplaces in a new era of work-from-home routines. The last interaction with 2022 could be cathartic, with balance being the overriding principle rather than extreme stands.
Indic scriptures talk at great length about the need to cultivate the ability to observe as a witness – Sakshi bhav. So let’s observe as witness, all that has happened, all that we experienced and felt, our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, our highs and lows, disappointments and so-called accomplishments. Because we live in a world of duality, every experience is valuable and every feeling of despondency, too, is part of being human.
The wake over a dead person is meant to ‘highlight the idea that the loss is borne by the whole community’ and ‘honour the one who has passed’. We could do the same for 2022 and look forward to New Year 2023 that may well bring new challenges as well as new reasons to be joyful and peaceful.
-Narayani Ganesh
