Dr. Banarsi Lal, Dr. Shahid Ahamad
We consider our modern society as more civilised as compared to the Stone Age. If civilisation means modern electronic media, nuclear energy, genetic engineering, space discoveries, high tech agriculture and many other achievements, then we have exceeded much ahead than primitive man. But the real meaning of modern civilisation is something else. There is dire need to change themindset of the people. He is still full of greed, jealousy, lust, hate, castiesm, regionalism, religionalism, and above all violence. The greatest enemy of mankind is man himself. The violence is increasing in every part of the world. Every day we listen about violence. We fear from violence. It is initiated from the smallest unit of the society and spreads at large scale. Domestic violence is observed when husband and wife, brothers, friends and other relatives do not live amicably. It is admitted that when the spouses are from different backgrounds, definitely there will be difference between them. Marriage is a legal institution that enjoins both husband and wife to live together with compromises and adjustments.Good parents nourish their children happily and develops good morals and ethics in them. Broken home spawns juvenile delinquency. We observe that domestic violence is increasing day-by-day. For many women homes become hell and many institutions in the cities take care of them. The earning women do not find difficulty to survive when they are torn off from the moorings of the family. But mostly the women find it difficult to survive when they are expelled from their families. Divorce and separation is not a permanent solution of the problem. These are the last things that women want. The women and children suffer throughout their life. Domestic violence does not mean only the wife beating but it means regular quarrelling between the parents affecting the quality of life of the children. The children do not face any problem if the parents are happy. The parents should think that they cannot solve the problem of adjustment through bickering, words of abuse or physical violence.
Many people inflict both the mental and physical violence on the wife or daughter-in-law for dowry and also cause mental cruelty on the parents of girl to extract money in the form of dowry. The violence is initiated from day number one by the docile husband, mother-in-law, father -in-law and also from sisters-in-law. There is limit of demands which the parents can bear. When she is excessively tortured for dowry, she ends her life by setting herself aflame or by some other methods. Greedy in-laws conspire to get rid of the woman who is helpless in satisfying the insatiable greed for money in the form of money. They don’t realise their condition whenever they have to marry their own daughter. Increasing domestic violence indicates that moral and ethical values are not followed. There is need to develop complementary understanding between husband and wife. They need to have equal balance in order to reduce the domestic violence. Man builds the home but woman makes the home. Man is the breadwinner but the contribution of woman is equally important for mentally, physically, emotionally, intectellectually and physically development of the children. Violent family creates social friction and stress to the other members of society also.
We are having a plural society in which the people of different faiths, cultures, languages, morals and ethics live together. India is a very big garden where we find flowers of different colours and aroma. Our greatness is known to preserve this great variety of garden. Any subtle attempt to change the texture of our society by force will sap the roots of our society. Violence in the name of religion, caste and language has caused a great harm to our country. Killings of one group of people by another group has been counterproductive, bloodshed breeds more bloodshed and kindles hate and fear. It tears apart the fabric of peace in the country. In the words of Gandhiji, eye for an eye makes the entire world blind.
Violence is not the permanent solution to solve the misunderstanding between different communities/nations/groups. The people should come together to understand each other, learn from each other, understand each other culture and learn the spirit of tolerance. No two human beings are similar. Even the two brothers of a family are not similar to each other. The Almighty God has provided variety everywhere. There are different sects in Hinduism, Christianity, Islam, Sikhism, Buddhism and other religions. The Hindi spoken in Uttar Pradesh may be different from that spoken in Madhya Pradesh or Rajasthan. The Tamil spoken in Thanjavur may be different from that spoken in Kanyakumari. We have ego that one religion is superior and other is inferior, one language is superior and other is inferior and one caste is superior and another is inferior. Same God has created the Indian, the Chinese, the Englishman etc. Then why we think that we are different when we all belong to the one family of Man? Charles Freer Andrews, a great friend of Ghandhi said that violence cannot be overcome by violence and evil cannot be overcome by evil but only by goodness. The victory of violence ends in a festival of mourning. The more weapons of violence, the more misery to mankind. Buddha, Mahavira, Jesus Christ, Gandhiji and many other great personalities have taught the values of non-violence. Their voice has fallen on deaf ears. We should realize that violence doesn’t pay. We have already irreparable damage due to violence. Nothing durable ever can be achieved by force.
