Mahadeep Singh Jamwal
When it comes to finding friends, perhaps the first step is under-standing, what exactly friendship is. Does it mean have each other in Face Book list? Or that you see each other every time and again, not really. A relationship needs to have some key elements in order to be labeled as friendship. To find friend this can get tricky, because most people have a different idea of what friendship really means. Some people are instantly trusting new people, and accept them into their list without question. For these types of folks, they assume someone is their friend until they find out otherwise. Other people, however, might act “friendly” with someone but not consider them a friend for quite a while. A true friend inspires you to live up to your best potential, not to indulge your basest drives. Friendship for most people is a combination of affection, loyalty, love, respect, and trust. The general traits of a friendship include similar interests, mutual respect and an attachment to each other, and in order to experience friendship, you need to have true friends.
Here one requires exploring the difference between being friends and acting friendly. Friendliness is a quality not a relationship. It has nothing to do with anybody else; it is basically inner quality. One can be friendly even when one is alone. You cannot be in friendship when you are alone – the other is needed – but friendliness is a kind of fragrance, it is superficial and includes smiling, joking, and a warm tone of voice. The friendliness can exist even with a rock, with a river, with a mountain, with a cloud, with a far-away star. Friendliness is unlimited because it is not dependent on the other; it is absolutely your own flowering and in that friendliness one will find all that is worth finding. In friendliness one will find the ultimate friend.
Where as friendship is a deeper more affective involvement between the people, having a sense of proper understanding. The therapeutic outcomes of friendliness and friendship are significant and when strangeness and alienation are replaced by feelings of comfort, belonging and involvement, the friendliness transforms into friendship as its outcome. But it is a deeper experience that is simultaneously rewarding and sustaining for both. It understands of these concepts and to explore their implications to education and better life. Friendship is a relationship. You can be in relationship with a few people. Friendship can exist only on the principle of trust. So, be friendly, just friendly to all that exists. How amazing this world was made, Even if we all are friendly, (in our own way) all of us cannot be a friend all the time. That is the first thought which came to mind, so be friendly to all but choose your friend wisely as it is safety and care commitment. The quality of being friendly is affability, bonhomie, geniality, pleasantness, kindness, good-heartedness, good-naturedness. Not everyone can have friendship in life. It requires two unique people to bond and understand each other in a way that is mutually satisfying. Friendship after all is having a rapport with friendly people.
In today’s world of false impressions, how we tell who is a friend and who is just being friendly. It is difficult to recognize the difference between someone who is sharing your feelings or enhancing your feelings. Being friendly is an outward projection of an inner quality, which wishes to keep the surrounding environment calm and enjoyable. Friendship is a bonding of souls, minds, and character becomes the foundation for a true and everlasting friendship, while friendly is simply an act of pleasantness. It is hard to be friendly in an un-social able world, while people must endure within a society that forces the pressures of demanding rules upon them, they can still find solace in the intimacy of a warm friendship.
If you are fortunate enough to have a true friend, cherish the experience, for it is why we live. To experience a friendship is to realize our true nature, our essence and reason for being. It is within our relationship that our self emerges and becomes a model of self reality.
Randomly a thought came into my mind, how about we compare cross-sex friendship or same sex friendship. Which one do we personally prefer? Which do we think; upon much reflection has a better long term relationship? Understanding, where do differences crop more easily? Which one hurts more if it breaks after a deep initial bonding? Which sex values friendship more? What differences can we find between the two? What is good, and what is bad in each of them both? I believe lacking lust, there is nothing bad to have friends from both the categories, as the friendship is a commitment to your happiness. A true friend is consistently willing to put your happiness before your friendship. It’s said that “good advice grates on the ear,” but a true friend won’t refrain from telling you something you don’t want to hear, something that may even risk fracturing the friendship, if hearing it lies in your best interest. A true friend will not lack the mercy to correct you, when you’re wrong. Not asking you to place the friendship before your principles. A true friend won’t ask you to compromise your principles in the name of your friendship or anything else. This probably ties us closer to our friends than many would like to admit. When our interests diverge and we can find nothing to enjoy jointly, not that we can’t still care deeply about friends with whom we no longer share common interests, but it’s probably uncommon for such friends to interact on a regular basis. Though, not necessarily enough to create a friendship, if values are too divergent, it’s difficult for a friendship to thrive. Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance they awaken us to a new a new understanding with the passing whisper of their vision. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. But the bad luck is that they stay in our lives for awhile.
Concluding, I will like to express that Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! “Nothing makes the earth seem as spacious as to have friends at a distance; A good friend is like a four leaf cover; hard to find and lucky to have. True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils. Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island. To find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.
