Last resort for ‘abandoned’ elders; Jammu’s Old Age Home tells tales of neglect, apathy

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Malu Sharma
JAMMU: Every corner of Old Age Home in Amphalla holds a story though with same gist of agony, neglect and pain, and with a climax countering the belief that everything will be alright at the end.
Most of the inmates, who are at the fag-end of their second innings, have so much to tell and share but the tragedy is that there is no one to listen to their tales and unfortunately, those owing the onus have themselves abandoned these aged lot in this Home to decay and die.
This Old Age Home is abode for around 50 senior citizens, who despite having children and homes in Jammu are facing drought of love and care as their very own had abandoned them and Old Age Home has become the only hope for them to pass their days.
Ironically, sons and daughters deserted their elderly parents after getting the legal possession of their belongings and property.
The irony is inevitable. People pray to be blessed with children, only to suffer callous neglect and abandonment in their twilight years.
For 111 year-old Sai Dass, who was a Zamindar, Old Age Home is the last resort, which provides him shelter and food and gives him strength to carry the burden of his life.
“It is a rebirth for me here, this home is my only hope and due to this I am able to forget my past,” he said with emotions choked.
Inspite of having a daughter and a son, he had to go in search for a place to live. He has been in the Old Age Home for the past 16 years.
“My son lives in Siyalpur but the family situation forced me out of my house and I am here. My property went to my son. He forced me to leave my home and live a life of a nomad. For three years, I was living on roads searching food and shelter. Then one of my close friends helped me and got me here. I have no contact at all with my son. He never searched for me. I am dead for him,” said Sai Dass.
“My daughter is happily married and she comes here to meet me. I am very thankful to God that she gave me a daughter who at least worries for me and comes here to meet me,” shared Sai Dass.

After struggling to bring up their children, elders like him are left with no other option than to spend their days alone in Old Age Home.
Pritam, Organiser Old Age Home Amphalla told STATE TIMES, “There are 50 inmates. We will take care of them till their last breath. If these people had no children, it would be understandable. But imagine their agony they have sons and daughters right here in this city. Many would like to surround themselves with the warmth and love of family. But their circumstances forced them to move out and live a lonely life here.”
“I wonder from where the young generation is learning all this and is treating the elderly people like a use and throw stuff. Most painful is when these elderly people with tears in eyes wait for their family but no one turns to meet,” he added.
Raj Kumari, a 42 years old lady shared her bitter experience. She has two sons and two daughters who live in Bari Brahmana. It was a heart-breaking experience when her daughter-in-law put pressure on her son to send her out of the house.
“After my husband’s death, I took the whole responsibility of my children. I worked as a maid and earned for my children. But today when I need support and someone to look after me, they abandoned me. My elder son is not ready to take my responsibility and my younger son does not need me. Where should I go? Then my elder daughter came forward and requested me to live with her but I can’t live with her in-laws. It’s against our values. I asked her to get me here in an Old Age Home,” said Raj Kumari.
Filled with tears she said, “I called my sons numbers of times but no one picked my phone. This Old Age Home is my only hope where I am getting shelter and food. I am thankful to God, she gave me a daughter who helped me to come here and spend the rest of my life with other inmates.”
Story of 105-year-old Rajinder Kumar, who was once a prominent businessman of Jammu, is heart rendering. “I am here for the past three and half years but have my peace of mind. I have two sons and a daughter. Both my son lives in Dubai. They threw me out. They sold all my property and left me alone. I no longer trust my children. My daughter is my only asset. She calls me up daily and gives emotional strength and love I need,” said Rajinder Kumar.
Is this the so called modern society, in which we are not able to look after our parents? Are we sending right signals to the youth?