Abdul Quddir Kundria
In today’s fast-paced world, despite significant advancements, many communities remain entangled in outdated customs and social pressures that cause more harm than good. Among the most pressing issues is the excessive spending on weddings and related ceremonies, particularly within underprivileged families. This burden of societal expectations forces many to take loans and make financial sacrifices they cannot afford, leading to long-term distress and suffering.
Many families feel compelled to organize grand weddings and elaborate pre-wedding rituals, often beyond their financial means. Traditions like the distribution of expensive sweets, lavish Chunni Chadana ceremonies, and other extravagant customs have transformed into opportunities for people to showcase wealth and status. These customs, once rooted in cultural significance, have unfortunately become a measure of social standing rather than a celebration of union.
This pressure to conform to societal norms has severe consequences for underprivileged families. In their desire to match societal expectations, they take loans to finance grand celebrations, plunging themselves into debt. The stress of repaying these loans often leads to mental anguish and, in some tragic cases, irreversible decisions like self-harm. This reality is far removed from the joy that weddings are meant to bring.
The notion that an extravagant wedding equates to respect and honor in society is deeply flawed. Renting luxury cars, hosting lavish functions, and wearing expensive clothing may offer a temporary sense of prestige, but these displays do not define a person’s value. Once the celebration ends, the financial strain remains. Families struggle for months or even years to repay debts, with some facing poverty and others bearing the emotional toll of these pressures.
The practice of dowry further deepens this crisis. Under the guise of cultural traditions, families are expected to give costly gifts to the groom’s family. This often forces the bride’s family to take out loans, further entangling them in financial hardship. When the groom’s family makes demands that cannot be fulfilled, the bride’s family, fearing societal judgment, feels pressured to meet these expectations. This cycle of burden and sacrifice perpetuates suffering across generations.
It is important to reflect on whether marriage should be about fulfilling social expectations or about celebrating the union of two individuals. Should love and commitment be overshadowed by material displays and financial burdens? We must reconsider the purpose of marriage and focus on fostering relationships built on mutual respect and understanding.
Beyond the financial strain of weddings, society also faces the growing issue of substance abuse, especially among the youth. This alarming trend threatens the well-being of individuals and the stability of families. Addiction not only destroys lives but also erodes the fabric of society. It is our shared responsibility to guide our youth away from harmful behaviors and provide them with support, education, and positive environments. A healthy and responsible generation is vital for the progress of our communities.
To address these challenges, it is crucial for us to rethink and simplify our traditions. Weddings should be joyful and meaningful, not a cause of financial hardship. Reducing the scale of celebrations and focusing on the essence of marriage can bring genuine happiness without the weight of debt. Families must prioritize their well-being over societal approval. It is not the grandeur of a wedding that earns respect but the love and harmony within the family.
Communities should come together to reject outdated customs that cause harm, such as extravagant rituals and dowry practices. By promoting modest celebrations and discouraging financial showmanship, we can create a more compassionate and supportive society. Let us encourage families to celebrate within their means and embrace simplicity as a virtue.
This change must begin at the individual and family level. Each one of us has a role to play in reshaping societal norms. When we choose simplicity and discourage harmful practices, we inspire others to do the same. By leading through example, we can gradually shift societal expectations and free future generations from the burdens we face today.
Additionally, families and community leaders must prioritize guiding the youth away from harmful habits, such as substance abuse. This requires collective effort, open conversations, and creating opportunities for positive engagement. Protecting our youth from addiction is as important as freeing families from financial stress.
Every individual, regardless of social or economic status, deserves to live with dignity and peace of mind. Taking loans to fulfill societal expectations robs families of this peace. It is our moral responsibility to support each other in breaking free from these harmful practices. Society must evolve in ways that uplift and empower its members, rather than weigh them down with unnecessary burdens.
The time for change is now. We must begin this transformation within our own families and extend it to our communities. By rejecting extravagant customs and embracing simplicity, we can pave the way for a society where joy is not measured by wealth, but by love, respect, and mutual support.
Let us commit to freeing our society from the chains of debt and outdated traditions. Let us guide our youth toward a brighter future, free from harmful influences. In doing so, we will build a stronger, more compassionate community where every individual can thrive. True humanity lies in kindness, understanding, and supporting one another. By embracing these values, we can create a society that is not only happier but also more united and prosperous. It is with great hope and sincerity that this humble message is shared, in the belief that together, we can bring about meaningful change.
(The writer is an eminent Dogri Poet/Writer of Jammu and Kashmir)
