JAMMU: After years of ‘forced’ political wilderness, Omar Abdullah has been forthright in saying how he was being ignored all this time and now those who didn’t respond to his Salaam were the ones messaging him ‘Good Morning’ every day.
“Now when I wake up in the morning, I see messages saying ‘Good Morning Sir. At one o’clock, I check my phone and find, ‘Sir what did you have for lunch?’ At eight o’clock, I check again and see, ‘What did you have for dinner? Do we need to send anything for you?’ And at 10 o’clock at night, I get ‘Good Night Sir, please sleep well’. This is how the Chief Minister said gracefully without describing the message senders as ‘Chamchas’, which they actually are-the esteemed, ever-loyal yes-men. With Omar Abdullah’s rise this tribe of Chamchas find themselves in a mad competition of bondage. Each Chamcha, who’s who of the Union Territory, is vying to outshine the other in a display of sycophancy so extravagant.
Well, there may be degrees of Chamchas but they are omnipresent in every set up and every society. May be Jammu and Kashmir has more of this tribe, which gets activated on every ‘sun-rise’. The Chamcha culture is nothing new; it dates back to centuries. With changing times, only the contours of Chamchagiri have changed. It is a way of life for those, who have been making best of times through this time tested trait from times immemorial. This reminds of a Guru-Chela tale, which is perhaps relevant to the scenario around the aura of the new Chief Minister.
The climate was changing, summers giving way to cool. And so was the changing mood. As expected, the ambience of Ashram was very soothing; the disciples looking keenly at the great Guru Ji for new pearls of wisdom. It was total silence with Guru Ji deep in his thoughts. The ice was broken by one young Chela who, being the youngest, would take liberty with the great Saint. With folded hands, the young one asked: “Hey Guru Ji, I have one quarry. Manu Maharaj had divided the society on the basis of work. Now that science has progressed tremendously with Artificial Intelligence also entering the Kalyug; I am curious to know which is the eternal and perpetual job activity in the world that never gets out of fashion whatever the place be and who so ever the persons be.”
Opening his eyes, the most learned Guru smiled, and after a mysterious pause replied: “Chamcha”!
With a confused look, the Shishya said: “With all respect Guru Ji, I do not understand.” The great Saint replied: “It’s a great Gyaan known; yet hidden from the masses. I will tell you a story so that you can understand easily.” After a small thought the Guru Ji started speaking in a very polite, mild tone. There was a new political structure in place in a particular State. The electors had given power there; where it was totally unexpected. There was a new regime and a new ruler and true to their nature, all wanted to please him. It was an early morning, even the Sun God had not left his cozy bed, yet, there was a queue of people outside phone booth of the main gate of a big mansion. On the booth was written Salaam keejiey;! The people in the queue were in fact the Who’s Who of the capital city. Those who had cared a fig about the owner of mansion during the last five years, now their new ruler, were too eager to send him their daily greetings. Everyone knew he had instructed not to call on mobile, so there was rush to send greetings via landline. Suddenly the small window opened and the First Caller with a great grin picked the phone and said: “Good Morning Sir, this is me your humble servant. Did you have proper sleep, or should I get mattresses and bed changed?” The master replied: “No, the bed is fine. And you had asked the same thing yesterday also.” “Yes Sir, but it’s my duty to ask daily. Have a good day Sir.” After disconnecting, he said to others: Meri hazri to lag gayee! The Second One also started with a good morning but asked: “How was the bed -tea, Sir? Does your servant really know how to make proper tea? Sir I am known to make very tasty tea. Janaab kabhi mujhey mauka de ke dekh lein!” Came the reply: “When my servant will not be available, I will surely try you.” The next one was even more bending on phone. He went to the extent of asking: “Sir, is the mineral content in your drinking water proper? There is more calcium in water here, please take care. And should I send good breakfast for your Honourable Sir? Last time also, I had been cooking for the Madam.” “Not now, some other time,” came the curt reply. In line was a known Chronic Chamcha who would always find a place in the kitchen or even store room of the Ruler. He also started with pleasantries asking even about ironing of clothes, polishing of shoes, well- being of children and menu of the meals. He further added: “I have remained a trusted fellow of all owners of this mansion, Sir. I can neither see nor hear anything. Even walls speak, but I don’t. And I am a master of all trades for you, Sir!” There was an appreciable response from the other end and the last one was asked to come inside. Happily, did he go inside to serve the new ruler! After saying this much, the Great Guru Ji said: You see, no matter what time or place or who rules; these professional Chamchas always find their job. And this is the most lucrative profession. A Chamcha is often more powerful than the master himself. So never underestimate a Chamcha. The famous shaloke ‘Yada Yada hi……… ‘ can be interpreted like this: Jab jab Is desh mein poorani sarkar badlti hai, tab tab chamchagiri phir se zinda hoti hai. Jis ko dooba suraj samajh ke log bhool jaate hain, unko roz good morning ka salaam phir se aaney lagte hain! Hail Sycophancy! God bless Sycophancy!!
