Dr. Ritu Sharma
As you look for the meaning of happiness in Cambridge Dictionary, it shows “The feeling of being happy” and the meaning of it is explained by a statement, it was only later in life that she found happiness and peace of mind.
This statement led me to think of it in much intense way that we always co-relate our happiness with something; like if I will crack the exam, I will be happy, if I get the suitable job, I will be happy and so on. This pattern of happiness makes it more situational and dependent. So, I can rather say what we were taught about happiness isn’t true.
Most of us are led to believe that happiness is a final destination- one that can be reached if we make the right choices, learn from our mistakes and keep pushing forward. We are taught that once we finally find it, we will be forever satisfied in our lives and so we live feeling overwhelmed and inadequate, chasing that dream, never stopping to question if it is, in fact flawed.
Yes, happiness is FLAWED because it is not a destination. It is a state of mind, and you don’t need to be in it every moment of every day. Life is complex and uncertain. Ups and downs are normal. The day you land that promotion you have been longing for might also be the day you suffer your first heartbreak. How do you experience happiness if you don’t know sadness and pain?
Personally, it took me years to understand that ups and downs are part of life, and it is said, while you have to go through hell, you have to GO THROUGH it, because then only you will understand what actually happiness is. It’s high time, we need to overcome from the fantasies of the Bollywood movies and realize that sadness, pain and other emotions are the spices of life and together they will make up a perfect recipe called ‘Life”. I have made some mental notes about possible roads to happiness. I think and I believe it will help you to find your real state of happiness. Here are some of the points:
- Practice Gratitude: Gratitude is the best attitude, they say. Gratitude is the way to express thankfulness to every little thing in life. Gratitude is a positive emotion that involves being thankful and appreciative and is associated with several mental and physical health benefits.
You can practice gratitude at any time of the day; be it morning or in evening. You can show gratitude for being alive, for having a wonderful day, for a sound sleep and for all the good things you have. By practicing gratitude, you start to observe the little things of life and ultimately it will add to your happiness. - Focus on the things that are in your control: See, we can have two perspectives regarding all the things that are happening with us. Some things are in our control, and we can work on them and set it right. Some things are not in our control, so instead of lamenting on the things that are not in our control, we must focus on the things that are in our control, work on them, accept them and make things productive.
- Go for solutions: We must cultivate our mind to always go for the solutions of every problem we face in life. People keep lamenting on the problems and this lamentation keeps on going and going. It is not fruitful. Search for the solutions and see what works for you.
- Me time: People have time for everything in life and not for themselves. Some people don’t know what actually is the “ME’ time or how to spend time alone. It is a schedule of time you can allot to yourself only for the things you love to do. It can be an hour in the morning or evening or anytime of the day. This time and space should exclusively be yours. You can use this time for doing some yoga, stretches, book reading, having a cup of tea, listening to your favorite music, spa time or anything you like to do. I personally believe by giving yourself your ME time, you fill yourself with all the love and peace and you make yourself full and you are ready to spread love and positivity to others or in a nutshell, I can say only when your cup is full, then you will be able to pour in the empty cups of others.
- Go out in the nature: Going out in the nature acts as a therapy. It is also called as Ecotherapy, or green therapy and it helps to get connected with the evolutionary roots and revive their instinct to engage with and cherish the natural world. What science is showing is that we can reap the healing powers of Mother Nature and gain immense health benefits. Spending time in nature is a low cost and highly effective way to improve various aspects of our psychological wellness. So, next time you feel anxious or stressed, go out in nature for a walk and you will experience a sudden shift in your mental state.
- Talk: One thing we should learn from our younger self or from the kids around us is to be vocal about everything. Kids don’t hesitate to speak their mind and, in a way, they went out everything. So, whatever problem you have, talk about it with your family, friends and relatives whom you trust. Piling things on in mind leads to cluttered mind. The more you clear the clutter, the more space you have for better things.
- Do the things that make you happy: Do whatever that makes you feel alive. It can be anything that you used to do during your childhood, or you can also cultivate some good habits like painting, gardening, DIY projects, learning a new language etc. This will make you feel accomplished, release many feel-good hormones in the body that ultimately gives you a purpose in life.
- Exercise: We all know “A sound mind resides in a sound body”. Like brushing our teeth is a regular regime of our life, exercise should hold the same spot also. Daily exercise of 40-45 minutes has many health benefits. It improves mood and energy, increase self- esteem and confidence, reduces stress, anxiety and mental fatigue, increase focus and motivation, and reduces loneliness by providing opportunities to meet new people, enhance brain health and support cellular growth, improve cognitive development in children and adolescents.
- Live in the present: We must not carry the baggage of the past because it is over and we should not worry about the future also because we don’t know what life unfolds for us. Live in the present, enjoy and work on the things that come your way. Cherish the past, learn from it and make yourself ready to face all the opportunities of life.
- Meditation: Meditation has been around for thousands of years. It is a type of mind- body complementary medicine. Meditation can help you relax deeply and calm your mind. It helps you learn to stay -centered and keep inner peace. The emotional and physical benefits of meditation can include Giving you a new way to look things that cause stress; Building skills to manage your stress; Focusing on the present; Reduce negative feelings; Helping you to be more creative; Helping you to be more patient; and it helps in lowering of BP and helps you to sleep better.
These are some of the things that you not only should read but imply practically in life. So, if you ever find yourself getting lost in your search of happiness, consider reflecting on this famous quote.
Take a resolution this International day of happiness (20th march) to explore yourself and your sources of being on that ultimate state. It’s my wish that this article will be of some help to all of you.
(The writer is Lecturer in Zoology, School Education Department, Udhampur, Jammu and Kashmir)
