Surjit Singh Flora
October marks National Bullying Prevention Month. A bully is “one who is habitually cruel, insulting, or threatening to others who are weaker, smaller, or in some way vulnerable,” according to Merriam-Webster. Without a definition, many of us may picture a bully. This boy may bully and abuse people verbally and physically. Although the caricature describes one group of bullying, focusing on it obscures the various forms and systems that sustain it.
We’ve identified bullies of various ages, genders, and ethnicities. Bullying ranges from middle/high school “mean girls” to athletic coaches who unfairly berate and humiliate their players, and unfortunately, it now includes major political party candidates.
Real-world bullying has consequences. As a pediatrician, I have witnessed children in emergency departments contemplating suicide as a result of an insulting social media post. Politicians who humiliate and threaten LGBTQIA+ children have supported legislation that increases suicidal ideation in these children. Recent examples include school closures, event cancellations, and the psychological pain of being a susceptible target following offensive statements.
Traumatized youngsters are at high risk of bullying. Peers are more likely to abuse traumatized youngsters. We must assist our children with bullying.
As we engage with our kids, we must realize that bullying is not conflict. Children must learn how to handle everyday disagreements. Growing up involves knowing how to handle negative comments. Children’s developmentally normal arguments rarely include wise adults. Even though it may be challenging, we must instill dispute resolution in our children. Interfering will deprive them of a vital life skill.
It can be challenging to identify instances of bullying in our children. Children, especially teens, dislike involving adults in their issues. It’s particularly challenging when we are the stepparent or foster parent and don’t have a strong bond with the child. We must watch for retreat, unusual isolation, and mood changes. As stepparents, we may need to let our spouse ask the questions. Our kids will be more likely to tell their birth parents.
Once we identify bullying, we can inform the school and request a safe distance between our child and the bully. However, parents can and should do more to assist. Emotional assistance comes first. Bullying has a detrimental effect on children’s self-esteem. We should endeavor to regain some self-respect. Of course, affirmation is insufficient. A child is unlikely to accept meaningless statements such as “you are special.” It works better to praise past accomplishments or virtues, such as “I’ve been proud of the way you haven’t given up.” Our support will eventually pay off if the child doesn’t listen the first few times.
We can also assist kids in practicing responding. Bullies like weakness. We can help our children emotionally defend themselves by teaching them power-balancing reactions. Self-defense lessons, or fitness and self-confidence sports, help with physical bullying.
We can assist them in preparing responses to verbal or cyberbullying situations. We may need to steer them away from the ideal caustic remark that sounds nice at home but doesn’t work. Explain that the best answer is to figuratively ignore the bullying. Bullies typically persist without a response. Work with your child to find effective solutions and empower them to ignore the bully.
Absolutely! We are unable to accompany our children to school or shield them in every circumstance. By preparing them, assisting them in rehearsals, and empowering them to tackle challenges, we can diminish the influence of bullies in their lives.
We must exemplify the behaviors we wish to see in our children. It is essential to raise our voices when we observe individuals in positions of power-whether in our workplaces, places of worship, or political arenas-using their influence to belittle and undermine those who lack the ability to advocate for themselves.
Bullying encompasses a broader spectrum than many individuals may realize. Many individuals who have not encountered it may not fully grasp its potential impact on one’s life. Many individuals perceive it as merely a matter of physicality, involving actions such as pushing, punching, and fighting. However, it is important to consider that a significant portion of this may be rooted in psychological factors. It is important to recognize that there are experiences that remain unseen by many. The emotional and physical struggles faced in silence can be profound, leading individuals to retreat into solitude. The journey to school can be fraught with anxiety, and the impact of negative interactions can linger long after they occur. Understanding and compassion are essential in addressing these challenges. They have always approached their classes with a sense of calm, rather than feeling the need to rush away from any unpleasant encounters. They have not been repeatedly informed that they are to blame, that they are lacking in appearance or intelligence, or that they are unworthy of life. It causes significant pain and inflicts harm that may be challenging to mend.
During a challenging period in my life, when I faced bullying, I found myself doubting my ability to heal and move forward. It felt as though I was navigating a challenging situation, striving to ascend, yet encountering setbacks that repeatedly brought me back to the starting point. On each occasion. I found myself in a challenging situation, feeling as though there were no viable options available to me. It seems that those in my vicinity either found it difficult to accept my perspective or showed a lack of interest in the matter at hand. I found myself in a solitary moment, reflecting on my own company. I found myself in a state of profound loneliness, contemplating options that reflect the depth of my despair. While it was not my decision, one cannot overlook the multitude of children, teenagers, and adults who find themselves in similar circumstances. It is truly unfortunate that numerous individuals suffer greatly due to the impacts of bullying. While I cannot speak for the situation in most schools, I can share that it was indeed an issue in my own experience.
Is bullying a significant concern? When individuals find themselves in such a state of despair that they take their own lives, it is certainly important to recognize the significant impact of bullying.
As October is National Bullying Awareness Month, which encourages people to recognize and take action against the various forms of bullying. We hope to possess the necessary skills to effectively tackle this issue.
(The writer is a veteran journalist and freelance writer based in Brampton).