It hurts when Kashmir hurts

Dear Editor,
Blame game is always fascinating as it is the classical way to shift onus on other side but still reality prevails irrespective of our explanations and washing hands with responsibility. The long dark night of 19th January,1990 when whole India was sleeping in the deep slumber,the minority Kashmiri Pandits were going through an uncertain mindset ,whether to stay in the Valley ,which has gone through a number of forced political ups and downs for centuries, or to leave for a destination ,where you have a chance to breathe free without fear and tension.
It is my sincere admission as a KP , we have lived a peaceful life in Kashmir till 1990 although Kashmir has gone through many political erosions , but that has been the case with whole world. Law of nature was also hand in hand with the worse situation in Kashmir where only the fittest could survive and recessive perish. Totally out numbered physically and living under the mercy of dominant majority who could always call the shots was the misery which is hard to explain to those who live with head held high in a free nation of 125 crore population. KPs always carry the blame that “why didn’t you stay and face the situation ,protect your property and prestige” but then it is easy to preach than to practice the reality of life.The damage on KPs was not only physical it was a damage on their psyche which is hard to restore. If life would have been so easy why people go through depression and get skeptical about life. Sometimes fear of gun is easy to handle than the wound on your psyche. It was an emotional wreck and the damage was un-repairable. How is it possible that a bureaucrat can influence the whole community who were scattered in the Valley and without any political leadership where KPs could take and obey dictates and take a uniform decision without internet and mobile messaging facilities at that time .So stop blaming Jagmohan for the exodus of KPs but then at the beginning I had explained that you can blame anyone as per the feasibility.
Fear for life makes everyone weak ,otherwise a powerful ruler like Saddam would not have lived in a whole pit for months for the fear of life.So don’t blame our weakness. We don’t have the genes to blow ourselves as we are not brain washed and are not on any mission. Our mission was to live with peace without thinking of harming even an insect.
I am sure no one can ever blame KPs for creating a situation in Kashmir where innocents loose their lives everyday and night. It hurts every Kashmiri if lives are lost.
Whatever happens in Kashmir we have lost our home without any fault of ours.Our votes don’t count and we don’t influence any vote bank.We bank on the fact that we are Kashmiris and will remain the same.
It hurts when agencies run Kashmir to havoc whether these agencies are Indian or from Failed Nation Called Pakistan or those who work for a personal motive to mint money at the sake of innocent lives of Kashmiris.What have we got from so called democratic setup of India and 26 years of pain and uncertainty.We still search a flat or a piece of plot to accommodate our families in an alien land but it hurts when we are asked about our ancestral house and our permanent address.
It hurts when we see blood in the land of Sufis and sacred land where peace was the bench mark.It hurts when we are treated as a tourist in own own land.
I would only pray that my ashes are scattered in every river of my Valley so that my soul rests in peace.
Sanjay Raina
Chandigarh

It hurts when Kashmir hurtsSanjay Raina
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