Pratibha Lalotra
Had I not been through it, I would have never ever actually realised the intensity of that one sentence “I have been to hell and back….!” by our country’s heartthrob Deepika Padukone. During one of her appearances on NDTV where she talks about her battle with depression and breaks her silence for the first time and tells the world how difficult it was struggling with anxiety and depression at a time when she was establishing her credentials as one of the bollywood’s sought after actress. The show was just a mere nugatory thing for me, until one morning when I woke up feeling invariably different. Gradually, I started being afraid for no reasons, would start crying and even gasp sometimes. I thought it was due to homesickness as I was a boarder. I tried to distract myself focussing on my research work and surrounding myself with people, which helped for a while. But the nagging feeling didn’t go away. Over a period of time, it got worse. The silly things that I was never bothered of in the past would make me cry now. I left for home. Fortunate enough to have a loving family that helped me out. I talked my heart out to them. Infact one of my friends who is an intern in GMC came to meet me and concluded that I am actually trapped in waves of depression but thank God, I did not dip to a level where I could not lift myself back. Even today, there is a roller coaster of feelings but the condition is better, infact good.
I might be little immature to talk about this, but yes, I want to because it’s neither a monochromatic black veil nor shared melancholy, as most of us often assume it. Instead the disorder is more like a virus that amplifies suferrer’s vulnerabilities whether anxiety, helplessness, self-doubt, anger or some combinations of these. The subjective treatment varies from person to person yet the treatment is far from personalised. Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable or down in the dump. Most of us feel this way at one time or other. There are different versions of it like adolescent depression, bipolar depression, elderly depression or major depression. Here, I won’t be talking volumes about meaning and types of depression as the word itself is self explanatory and most of us, as per my assumption, know its meaning. But little do most of us know that 40 per cent of the suicides that are being commited per year are due to depression. Infact, the stigma and discrimination associated with the depression and anxiety is even worse than the illness itself. My experience with one of my bestie’s plight reassured me of this. One of my friends who could not get enrolled in research due to her low score in masters started feeling dejected and lonely as there was so much family pressure also. Gradually, some sort of mutation occurred that transformed her from a very lively gal pal to a silent screamer. Soon, after some time she was seen taking pills for migraine and insomnia. It was pathetic as she neither had any migraine nor insomnia. Even she knew she was in some sort of depression but to get soft corner from family she posed herself suffering from these virtual diseases. Soon she was spotted suffering from many more real disease due to heavy intake of medicines. When she was asked about revealing the truth of depression to her family she said “I shared this to my mother but I was asked to keep mum because this could drag the whole family in a jeopardy for they won’t be able to search a suitable match for her if people get to know about her illness”, as if it’s some sort of insanity. Hilarious..! Does anyone love to be depressed?! Or is it by choice?! Who doesn’t want to live a normal life?! Everyone does…..!
The World Health Organisation has stated that this will be most widespread epidemic in the next few years. We talk about all kinds of depression but this is probably one of the most deadliest mental disorders. Mental depression of Indian women and high suicidal rate in India is higher comparing to other countries in the world. Every year, over half a million people put their own lives down globally and of them 20 per cent are Indians. However, during the past two decades the rate of suicides has increased from 7.9 to 10.3 per 1,00,000 and a large population range between 15 to 29 age group commit suicides due to depression. According to the National Crime Record Bureau (NCRB) of India, the country is heavily loaded with quite high number of suicides. Therefore, on an average 15 people are committing suicide in an hour and the worst part is not the statistical data but the thinking of folk that hasn’t changed. Even today, if someone commits suicide they say…remember “they” would say the one who leaves this world deliberately by taking his own life is even not welcomed in the second world and directly goes to hell irrespective of everything. But have they ever realised is it that easy to end life’s episode? People commit suicide because in most of the cases our society forces them. Our society has posed depression as something even more shameful than any sexual transmitted disease. We have accelerated its transformation from just a disorder to chronic disease.
Nothing including life makes sense to people suffering from it. Overcoming it has made me a stronger person and I now value my life much more. Accepting it and speaking about it has liberated me. I feel that at times, the people just want to talk, and are’nt seeking advice. But, well-wishers saying things like, ‘Don’t worry, it will all be alright,’ might be detrimental.
Being sad and being depressed are two different things. Also, people going through depression don’t look so, while someone sad will look sad. The most common reaction is, ‘How can you be depressed? You have everything going for you. What else do you want?’ It’s not about what you have or don’t have. People talk about physical fitness, but mental health is equally important. I see people suffering, and their families feel a sense of shame about it, which doesn’t help. One needs support and understanding.
This was just an initiative to create awareness about anxiety and depression, and help people. So folks wake up before its too late. Talk, talk and talk…..be open and accept things the way they are. Stay happy and I hope this brings a million dollar smiles to you and your family!