Gursharan Kaur
Life is the greatest gift of God. Family is still a bigger gift. A life without a family is lifeless, listless & rudderless. Family is the smallest unit of the mankind which finally evolves into the humanity that we see all around. It is the family that develops bonds of love & affection. It is the family that determines whether a society is to develop eventually into a disciplined & progressive society or will stay back as laggards.
In the Indian tradition & culture the parents were always considered to be next to God because of the sacrifices they made in bringing up their children. These sacrifices could never be counted & there was no way to pay them back for their tremendous effort for making the children comfortable & ensuring they were educated &civilised.
With changing times this positive tradition is also undergoing a subtle but sure change. Whether it is good or bad will have to be judged by the society at large, but the changes are having implications. With the ever-rising requirement of the families &consumerism touching new heights it has become imperative for all members of a family to look for ways of earning an extra dough. It could be through jobs in several enterprises or running businesses. This is certainly putting strain on the family structure as every member of the family is into multitasking. That is not all, the members of the family need not be placed in the same locality or place. Many could be working in distant places within the country or maybe even offshores. This division in family structure because of location or many a times because of misunderstandings is causing isolation of the senior members of the family – the elderly, who are the most vulnerable link in the family structure because of their age & in capabilities to do things that they would take for guaranteed as younger people.
To take care of this vulnerable link of the society several old age homes have come up in the country. This is a laudable effort by several organisations & NGOs that have taken upon themselves the responsibility of taking care of such vulnerable people in the society. I came across one such old age home in Jammu that has been aptly named as Aasharaye – the Shelter.
Aashraye is locatedin the campus of the Bee Enn General Hospital complex, Talab Tillo Road, Jammu & is managed by the Bee Enn Charitable Trust headed by Kunil Bhalla. The establishment is very well & efficiently managed by the Trust. It houses around 20 elderly people. This has become an Aasharaye in the real sense of the word for the elderly who have either been left alone by their “upwardly mobile” children or have become lonely because of unfortunate personal losses in their families.
Recently I had an opportunity to visit Aashraye & interact with many of the residents of the facility. It gave me an opportunity to understand the intricate human relationships & how they unfold over the years in a family & amongst the friends resulting in isolation of several family members, who were till recent pastthe most loved & respected people living & enjoying every moment of their life with their loved ones.
At the same time Aashraye is located in an immaculately clean building that has maintained high standards of hygiene. The senior citizens are taken care of & looked after by a dedicated staff who can be seen serving the inmates with an infectious smile on their faces. The staff, I found, is quite friendly & supportive & meets the needs of the residents very effectively& efficiently.
During my visit I saw thatfew of the residentwere severely ill &were unable to get out of their respective beds, but their specific & special requirements too were met with full dedication by the nursing staff. Their beds too were seen to be very clean. Aashraye alsohouses a puja room where many of the residents gather in the afternoon for performing puja.
Aasharaye has also provided sports& other recreational facilities for the residents where they take a break to enliven themselves updepending upon their own medical or physical capabilities.
Additionally, the management also provides books, television, newspapers, etc. to the senior citizens. I also had an opportunity to talk tomany of the residents of Aasharayewho spoke to me about the experiences of their lives very passionately. Each one of them had their own story to tell. One such person was a retired professor from Jammu University who was eager to talk to me and know about me. He asked me about my education and sharedinsightful knowledge on the subject. There was an old, but very educated & active lady who didn’t want to speak about herself very openly. I saw a few resident who could get out of their beds but needed wheelchairs for their movement in the room or outside. The residentsroutinely attend Satsang&eattogether. The management of the Trust provides free medical facilities to the residenttoo.
As I walked into one of the rooms of an eighty-four-year-old woman, I heard the sound of the television playing while she laid on the bed munching a biscuit. She could not comprehend much and was very weak and was unable to get out of the bed. Her caretaker told me that she had suffered memory loss and couldn’t recall much of anything, although she does remember her son who lives in Belgium with his wife and kids. As I talked to the caretaker, the woman frequently called out to her and asked about her parents. She kept mumbling about how she wants to see her mother and father. I also discovered that she was a postgraduate. Her husband had passed awayprobably a long time back. She had to takeseveral medicines along with those for her psychiatriccondition. Her caretaker told me that her mental health started declining rapidly due to lack of family environment and support. Though her son would enquire about his mother very frequently &visit her once in a quater, but she was unable to recognise him. Her situation brought tears to my eyes. This also touched my inner sensibilities that compelled me to think about the fragility of life & importance of family support to individuals at such an age Aasharaye was trying its best to make her life as comfortable as possible.
Many such elderly patients lie at many old age facilities across India, and it is to see their emotional and mental turmoil which is a direct result of lack of loving support from their children and relatives. By talking too many of them, I saw that they like the way they are taken care of at Aasharaye and it is their companionship & collective Puja and Sat sangthat they cherish the most.
The Aasharaye residential facility takes care of the elderly with a lot of commitment and determination. Many do feel lonely due to the absence of their family, but that loneliness is greatly reduced by the loving environment and gatherings that they engage in on a daily basis. We need more and more such facilities that help the elderly and provide a safe place for senior citizens in need of a loving environment.