Vivek Koul
In today’s rapidly evolving world, marked by technological advancements, shifting cultural values, and fast-paced lifestyles, one deeply troubling trend is the neglect of elderly parents by their children. Once revered as the pillars of wisdom, experience, and love, many elderly individuals today find themselves lonely, isolated, and forgotten within their own families. The traditional values of respect and reverence for elders, especially in cultures like India’s, are eroding under the pressure of modern priorities and individualism. In earlier times, joint family systems were common, where parents, children, and grandchildren lived together under one roof. The elderly were natural heads of the family, not only consulted on all major decisions but also provided care and companionship by their children and grandchildren. Their presence was considered a blessing, and their guidance a necessary part of life. With the rise of nuclear families, urban migration, and a more self-centered lifestyle, this structure has crumbled. Parents, after spending their entire lives raising their children, find themselves living alone in their later years, either in neglected corners of the house or in old age homes, far from the warmth of the family they built.
The reasons for this growing indifference are many. First, the demands of modern life – jobs, career ambitions, and material pursuits – have become dominant. As young adults move to different cities or countries in search of better opportunities, the bond with their parents weakens. The physical distance often turns into emotional distance. Parents who once sacrificed their dreams for their children now hesitate to even call them too frequently, fearing they may be disturbing their “busy” lives. This sense of hesitation and detachment slowly turns into loneliness and depression for the elderly. Another factor is the increasing influence of Western individualistic ideals where personal freedom and independence are considered more important than familial responsibilities. Children, once married and settled, begin to focus entirely on their new families, forgetting that the ones who raised them with love and patience are now in need of the same care and attention. They forget that their parents are aging, dealing with health issues, and fighting battles of their own, both mental and physical.
Technology, while it has helped people stay connected across distances, has ironically widened the emotional gap within families. Children often spend more time on screens than with their parents. Even when living in the same house, interactions are minimal, conversations are rare, and emotional exchanges almost non-existent. The elderly, who may not be comfortable with modern technology, feel even more alienated and out of place. Their stories, memories, and values often go unheard, dismissed as outdated or irrelevant. Financial dependence is another dimension of this issue. In some cases, once parents retire and no longer contribute economically, their value in the eyes of their children seems to diminish. The respect and care they once received suddenly disappear. In other cases, children see their parents as financial burdens, especially when they require medical care or special attention. Instead of stepping up to provide support, they may choose to ignore, avoid, or even mistreat their parents. Cases of elder abuse – emotional, physical, and financial-are sadly on the rise.
Moreover, in a society increasingly obsessed with youth, productivity, and social status, old age is often seen as a decline, a burden. Elderly parents become symbols of frailty and helplessness in an environment that prizes energy and efficiency. The aged, instead of being embraced and celebrated for their life experience, are often pushed to the margins. However, what is lost in this process is humanity itself. There can be no substitute for the love of a parent. Their silent prayers, their comforting presence, and their unwavering support throughout our formative years are what shape our very existence. To ignore their needs when they are most vulnerable is a grave moral failure. It’s not just about offering financial assistance or helping them with their chores; it’s about listening to them, spending time with them, making them feel valued and loved. A simple conversation, a gentle touch, or sharing a meal together can mean the world to someone who feels invisible in their own home.
Governments and civil societies can play a role by creating stronger social security systems, better healthcare services for the elderly, and promoting awareness about the rights and needs of senior citizens. But at the heart of the matter lies the responsibility of individuals and families. A society is only as strong as the way it treats its weakest members. And there is nothing more heartbreaking than the sight of an aged mother or father yearning for a call, a visit, or a hug from their child. Let us not wait until it’s too late. Let us not become so absorbed in our own lives that we forget the hands that once held us through our toughest days. The care and love we show to our elders today will echo through generations. For the way we treat them will teach our own children how to treat us tomorrow. It’s a cycle, a mirror, a reflection of our values. And if we fail to care for those who once cared for us, then we have truly lost something irreplaceable.
