Addictions to substances, namely alcohol and drugs (including prescription pills) can reduce a fully functioning individual to a shadow of their former, happy selves. And the first one to notice the person and getting directly affected are the families.
Recently, singer Ozzy Osbourne said in an interview that he helped son Jack, who is struggling from pills and alcohol addiction and even sat with him during his Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. That helped him bond with his son Jack who said that the troubled period helped them build their relationship. “I’m proud to say that, today, we’re both in active recovery and we even go to the same meetings. We share something not a lot of fathers and sons share.” And hence, for their own good, and for the good of the person suffering from addictions, it’s only the family and friends who can take the step and plan an intervention so that the person suffering from addiction can get help before it’s too late.
WHEN TO INTERVENE
Experts say that friends and family are the first to detect addiction.Says Ronald D’souza a former addict who has been a counsellor at a city based rehabilitation home, “Addicts are smart. They hide their addiction very well from others.Still, parents are the first ones to know. When they suspect that the drinking, or staying out late and coming home beady eyed is getting too much, they need to act.” The tricky part here could be getting your loved one realize that he is in trouble. D’Souza says that an addict will never admit that they are hooked. “An addict is 90% of the times, the last person to admit that he has a problem. It’s only when cri sis strikes, like a health scare or a financial scare, like losing a job, the addict realizes that he might be in trouble.
Dr Harish Shetty, a city based psychologist too admits that addicts do not agree that they are in trou ble, “When people don’t agree they have a problem, it becomes tough to help them, At such a time, parents need to be used as a resource.”
To know whether the person is addicted, pay close attention to a few key things. Counsellor D’Souza says that in the case of alcoholics, they often skip food as drinking on a full stomach is uncomfortable. Also, if they skip social do’s and only attend those where alcohol is available, then it’s an early sign; something that can be noticed by friends too. In case of drug users, parents need to see signs of drug use like bloodshot eyes, change in sleeping patterns and unusual weight loss.
HOW TO INTERVENE
Because most people who are addicted, won’t admit to it, an inter vention becomes tough. However, if you feel that your loved one is not really in the throes of it, and is ready to talk, that is the best time to arrange a proper meeting to show them how they could get help. Dr Shetty says that close friends who are not a part of the person’s addic tion circle can be present. So can parents and the counsellor who will act like a mediator. “People who are in the throes of addiction, hate con frontation. So, don’t tell the person that you are staging an interven tion. Tell them that you’re going for a dinner or some other reason, and lead them to the place where you have planned the intervention to take place.” The small support group can have a little something written on how the person’s dependence to substances is affecting their rela tionship.
Although experts caution that one should not need to accuse them or get irritated when talking about it. “Parents and siblings need to be firm, yet sympathetic. They do not need to use an accusatory tone, but instead stick to the facts about how the person’s addiction is affecting the parent or sibling’s relationship.
FORCEFUL INTERVENTION
Often it happens that, even after an intervention, the person who is suffering from an addiction, will not agree to seek help at a rehab or even see a counsellor. At such times, force might be needed. Dr AH Malik, who has been counselling and treating patients since the last 10 years says he has seen from experience, that force is often required to help the more obstinate patients.”Addicts can be very obstinate.When we tell them that they need to seek help at a rehab, they will not agree to it on any condition. The reason for this is because they are scared of withdrawal and the fact that their favourite thing is being taken away from them.”
In such cases, Dr Malik says that the addict needs to be told that they’re not going to a rehab. “Most times, a family member tells them that they are going to a picnic, or to see a friend, and are brought to the rehabilitation centre, where trained counsellors take over and make the patient understand.” he adds.However, one should never use violence or force with the addict, because the time when they check into rehab, is probably the weakest point in their lives. During this period, they need to be given full support of friends and family members are to be handled with a mix of force and logic.
Dr Shetty gives some practical tips here, “The person dropping them to rehab needs to make sure to use the highways, since there are no wine shops located along the way that might tempt them to have one last drink.”
All experts agree that although the battle with addiction is tough one and might take some time to overcome, it is important to know that it is very possible for an addict to lead a healthy and fruitful life with the support of family and friends. Dr Shetty says that support of family and friends is crucial to help the addict win the battle, “For the addict, the battle is fought on an every day basis. They have good days and bad days, and life is turbulent for them. Constant support from family and friends is they key and plays an important role in their road to recovery.”
